How to Use Tapping to Relieve Stress and Anxiety
It may look funny, but EFT is a simple, yet powerful way to relieve anxiety and stress.
Photo by Eric Hovis LMHC
Feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure of life in NYC? You’re not alone. Stress and anxiety often feel like unwelcome roommates. But there’s a simple tool you can use to reclaim your calm—right at your fingertips. Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), can be especially helpful for LGBTQ+ individuals navigating these challenges. These feelings can be overwhelming, and the search for effective tools to manage them is often daunting. Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a simple yet powerful way to relieve anxiety, ground yourself, and work through stress. This tool can be a great complement to traditional therapy approaches, providing immediate support when emotions run high.
In my work with clients, I specialize in trauma informed EMDR therapy in NYC, and I’ve found that integrating tapping into an overall trauma-focused approach has provided profound relief. This post will guide you through what tapping is, how it can help, and how you can use it in your everyday life. Let's get started on this journey to finding a new way to handle stress.
What Is Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)?
Tapping, also known as EFT, is a blend of modern psychology and acupressure. It involves tapping on specific points on your body, known as meridian points, while focusing on the problem or emotion at hand. It sounds simple—and it is—but the effects can be quite powerful. Tapping helps release tension, clear emotional blockages, and calm the nervous system.
I first encountered EFT while learning about different methods to encourage grounding and relaxation. I was struck by how effective it was—not just for my clients but also for myself. Dealing with my own anxiety, I discovered how quickly tapping could release that tight feeling in my chest and diaphragm. It was a surprising and welcome relief. Now, I often do this technique alongside my clients in session, which helps both of us reconnect with our bodies and let go of tension.
The key principle behind EFT is similar to EMDR in that it utilizes both cognitive focus and physical sensation to help the brain process difficult emotions. EFT has also gained some empirical support, which adds credibility to its effectiveness in reducing stress and anxiety. Unlike EMDR, which uses bilateral stimulation (BLS) to target trauma, EFT uses specific acupressure points while focusing on self-acceptance and emotional processing. Though EFT is still emerging in the therapeutic world, it has some empirical support, and I have seen firsthand how it helps individuals feel more grounded and centered.
How EFT Helps Relieve Stress and Anxiety
The effectiveness of EFT lies in the mind-body connection. When we experience stress or anxiety, our bodies hold that energy—often in our muscles, our gut, or even our chest. By physically tapping on meridian points while focusing on the emotion, we help our bodies release stored tension and send a signal to the brain that it’s okay to let go. This process is both a top-down approach (using the mind to influence the body) and a bottom-up approach (using the body to calm the mind).
Tapping is similar to other stress-relief techniques like Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), which I’ve written about before. Both involve connecting with the body to facilitate relaxation, but EFT stands out because of its ability to bring deeper emotional issues to the surface while also offering a path to self-acceptance.
Many of my clients have found tapping especially useful because it helps regulate the nervous system. Whether you’re dealing with everyday anxiety or traumatic stress, regulating the nervous system is key to feeling more grounded and less overwhelmed. In my trauma-informed approach, I see tapping as a valuable tool that supports this regulation and offers relief, often when other techniques fall short.
Steps for Using Tapping to Manage Stress
Let’s dive into how you can use tapping for yourself. Here are the basic steps to get started:
Step 1: Identify the Stressor
Take a moment to reflect on what’s causing your stress or anxiety. It could be an upcoming presentation, a difficult conversation, or a feeling that seems to come out of nowhere. Name it—this is the first step to addressing it.
Step 2: Create a Setup Statement
Next, create a statement that acknowledges the emotion and offers self-acceptance. This statement often begins with, “Even though I feel [emotion], I deeply and completely accept myself.” For example, “Even though I feel anxious about this meeting, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Step 3: Tap on the Key Meridian Points
Using your fingertips, tap lightly on the following points while repeating your setup statement:
Eyebrow (inner edge, near the bridge of your nose, or on either side of the brow)
Side of Eye (on the bone directly outside your eye)
Under Eye (on the bone under your eye)
Under Nose (between your nose and upper lip)
Chin (in the crease below your bottom lip)
Collarbone (about an inch below the bony part of your collarbone)
Under Arm (about four inches below your armpit)
Top of Head (directly on the crown of your head)
Repeat the setup statement while tapping 5-7 times on each point, moving through the points in a sequence.
Step 4: Rate Your Distress Level Again
After completing a round of tapping, take a moment to assess how you feel. Has your anxiety decreased, even slightly? On a scale of 1-10, how intense is the emotion now compared to before? Often, clients notice at least a small reduction in distress, which reinforces that the technique works.
Practical Example Imagine you’re feeling anxious before a big meeting at work. You might say, “Even though I feel anxious about this meeting, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Tap through the points while focusing on that anxiety. By the end of a round or two, you may notice your shoulders have relaxed a bit, or that knot in your stomach has softened. This is your body responding to the signal that it’s okay to calm down.
One client told me, 'I didn't believe in tapping at first, but it has made a huge difference in my anxiety levels. Now it's my go-to when I feel overwhelmed.' Testimonials like this add proof that EFT can be highly effective. You might say, “Even though I feel anxious about this meeting, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Tap through the points while focusing on that anxiety. By the end of a round or two, you may notice your shoulders have relaxed a bit, or that knot in your stomach has softened. This is your body responding to the signal that it’s okay to calm down.
Advanced: Adding Emotional Depth to Tapping
Tapping can be a powerful tool for exploring deeper emotions beyond the surface-level stress. Once you’ve tapped through the initial anxiety, you might find yourself connecting to deeper beliefs, like “I am not safe” or “I don’t belong.” These deeper emotions are often connected to old wounds or traumatic experiences.
Adding emotional depth to tapping means allowing yourself to notice what lies beneath the immediate emotion. This practice aligns closely with deep trauma work, such as what we do in EMDR sessions. If you find yourself tapping on something particularly intense or painful, it’s important to work with a trained therapist who can guide you through the experience in a safe and supportive way.
When to Use Tapping
One of the great things about tapping is that it can be used in many different situations. For everyday stress—like feeling overwhelmed on a crowded subway, having a difficult conversation, or preparing for an important meeting—tapping can help bring you back to the present moment and reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety.
For more intense trauma responses, tapping can still be helpful, but it should be done with the support of a therapist. I often guide my clients through tapping during sessions, particularly when we’re working on distressing memories. It’s a simple yet effective way to release some of that tension and create a sense of safety.
How EFT Fits Into a Broader Treatment Plan
EFT is just one tool in a broader toolbox of coping skills. I often integrate tapping into a larger framework of healing trauma, alongside techniques like EMDR, grounding exercises, and Calm Place visualizations. EFT can also be part of daily rituals, like morning meditation or a gentle exercise routine, to help regulate the nervous system and maintain a sense of balance.
It’s important to note that while EFT is a powerful tool for managing stress and anxiety, it’s not a substitute for the deeper work that may be needed for ongoing trauma or anxiety. If you’re interested in integrating EFT with a broader therapeutic approach, consider scheduling a consultation with me. I currently have limited openings, so reach out today to explore if this approach is right for you. For that, therapy offers the support, insight, and safety needed for true healing.
Personal Reflection: Eric's Experience with Clients Using Tapping
I’ve seen a range of responses when introducing tapping to clients. Some are skeptical at first, finding it hard to believe that simply tapping on a few points can make a difference. But once they give it a try, many find it surprisingly effective. One client shared how tapping became their go-to tool during moments of overwhelm—whether it was dealing with family stress or feeling anxious before a date. The practice provided a way to connect with their body and emotions in a way that felt accessible and non-judgmental.
Of course, there are challenges, too. It can be difficult for some to fully accept the affirmations, especially when self-acceptance feels far out of reach. In these cases, I encourage clients to simply acknowledge where they are—“Even though I’m not sure I can accept myself right now, I’m open to trying.” Over time, this small shift can lead to greater emotional openness and relief.
Conclusion
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, tapping is a tool worth trying. It’s a simple yet effective way to reconnect with your body and calm your mind, offering relief when things feel overwhelming. As part of my trauma-informed approach, tapping helps support the work we do in therapy, making it easier to manage the ups and downs of everyday life.
If you’d like to learn more about how tapping fits into a comprehensive approach to healing, or if you’re curious about other coping strategies, feel free to explore some of my previous posts or schedule a consultation. Healing is a journey, and you don’t have to do it alone.
FAQ
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EFT can be particularly effective for LGBTQ+ individuals because it offers a way to process and release the unique stressors that often come with identity, societal pressure, and discrimination. By combining self-acceptance statements with physical tapping, EFT helps break through emotional barriers in a non-judgmental and supportive way.
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Results can vary. Some people feel immediate relief, while for others it may take consistent practice over time. It’s about finding what works best for you and giving yourself permission to try it out without judgment.
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While EFT can be very helpful for stress and anxiety, more intense trauma responses are best addressed with the help of a professional therapist. A guided approach ensures you have the support you need as you work through difficult emotions.
Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call to discuss how we can work together to build the resilience you need to thrive. Let's embark on a path toward greater self-respect, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of community together.
My specialties include LGBTQ+ Therapy NYC, EMDR Therapy NYC, Religious Trauma.
