Why Deep Breathing Is Key to Managing Anxiety

Photo by Vasilis Caravitis, downloaded from Unsplash on 9/22/24

Anxiety can sneak up on you when you least expect it—whether it's during a stressful work situation, at a social gathering, or just dealing with the daily grind of life in NYC. And I’ve noticed that for many of us who move to NYC, there’s a kind of pressure that comes with living here. In a place where so many people come with their hopes and dreams, the fear of disappointment—whether it’s in ourselves or others—can be overwhelming. And for some, anxiety isn’t just about isolated moments; it’s like a constant companion, hovering in the background all the time. When I first started dating in the city, I came to realize just how socially anxious I was. And I knew, when I was feeling anxious all the time, I was not showing up as my true, fullest, and relaxed Self.

Now, as someone who specializes in LGBTQ Therapy in NYC, I know anxiety is even more complicated for folks in the LGBTQ+ community. Whether it’s anxiety around identity, discrimination, or the pressure of navigating spaces where we don’t always feel welcome, it’s real, and it’s draining. But there are simple tools that can make a big difference—and one of the most effective is deep breathing.

How Anxiety Affects the Mind and Body

Anxiety is a natural part of being human. It’s our body’s way of preparing us for perceived threats, getting us ready to react and protect ourselves. Back in the day, this response would kick in when we were faced with real, life-threatening situations—like a lion attack in the jungle. But these days, the “threats” we face are more psychological than life-and-death. Think about social rejection, heavy work stressors, or facing basic discrimination—these all trigger the same fight, flight, or freeze response, which can leave you with rapid heartbeats, shallow breathing, and tense muscles. Caveat here: Many of us do have histories where real, life-threatening situations happened, and we survived. We call that trauma…which really takes specialized care to treat effectively. This post will help, even if you have trauma, definitely, but I am going to remain focused, though, on anxiety.

For LGBTQ+ individuals, anxiety is often compounded by the societal pressures we face. Whether it’s stepping into spaces that don’t feel safe or enduring microaggressions, these stressors add up. You may find yourself constantly on edge, always anticipating the next hit. And that kind of stress takes a huge toll on your body over time.

In LGBTQ Therapy in NYC, I don’t just focus on the psychological side of anxiety as in just your thoughts and your feelings. I also work on calming the body with tools like deep breathing, which helps bring that fight-or-flight response back under control.

Why Deep Breathing Is Effective for Anxiety Management

So, why deep breathing? How does something as simple as taking a few slow breaths make such a big difference?

It all comes down to how deep breathing regulates your nervous system. When anxiety kicks in, your body’s sympathetic nervous system gets triggered, sending you into fight-or-flight mode. Deep breathing, though, stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system, which acts like a brake, slowing everything down and telling your body, “It’s okay. You’re safe.” One way this works is through the vagus nerve, which runs along and around your internal organs. Deep breathing expands your diaphragm, putting pressure on the vagus nerve and activating that calming parasympathetic response.

Here’s the cool part: Your body can’t be in both a stressed state and a relaxed state at the same time. So, by consciously focusing on your breath, you’re essentially helping your body shift gears, from stress to relaxation. That’s empowering because it puts you in the driver’s seat of your own nervous system.

Deep breathing also helps increase oxygen flow to your brain, making you feel more focused and calm. When you’re anxious, your breathing gets shallow, which reduces oxygen and makes it harder to think clearly. Slowing your breath down gives your brain what it needs to start functioning properly again.

For many LGBTQ+ folks, anxiety can hit at any time—whether it’s a social situation that feels unsafe or a tense moment in public. The beauty of deep breathing is that you can do it anywhere, anytime, without drawing attention to yourself. That said, some in our community may have complicated relationships with certain parts of our bodies, so be mindful of where your attention goes. The goal is to use deep breathing to bring calm, whether it’s through focusing on a specific body part or mindfully avoiding certain areas.

Simple Deep Breathing Techniques to Try

Here are some simple, effective deep breathing techniques you can try, whether you're at home, in public, or dealing with a stressful moment:

1. Box Breathing (Four-Square Breathing)

This is a great one for bringing quick calm:

• Inhale for 4 counts.

• Hold your breath for 4 counts.

• Exhale for 4 counts.

• Hold again for 4 counts.

Repeat for a few cycles. This method is perfect for those moments when you need to hit pause and get grounded.

2. 4-7-8 Breathing

This one is my personal favorite, and it’s been the most helpful for me when I’ve felt that tightness in my chest:

• Inhale deeply for 4 counts.

• Hold for 7 counts.

• Exhale slowly for 8 counts.

3. Diaphragmatic Breathing (Belly Breathing)

Most of us breathe from our chest, especially when we’re anxious, but belly breathing helps engage your diaphragm for fuller breaths.

• Lie down and place a stuffed animal or ball just below your rib cage.

• Inhale, watching the object rise with your belly.

• Exhale slowly, allowing it to fall.

This helps you take deeper breaths and elongate the exhale, which helps stimulate that vagus nerve even more.

How to Practice

The best time to practice these techniques is when you’re calm so that when anxiety hits, you’ve already got the skill down. Try practicing at home, during quiet moments, or even discreetly while you’re on the subway or waiting for your coffee.

The Role of Deep Breathing in LGBTQ Therapy in NYC

Deep breathing is more than just a quick fix. In LGBTQ Therapy in NYC, I use it as part of building a larger toolkit to help clients manage anxiety or other feeling states that feel too much to hold in the moment. It’s paired with other tools, like grounding exercises (check out my recent blog post on grounding), to help clients feel more in control when those anxious feelings surface.

Real-Life Scenarios

Picture this: You’ve just had a tense conversation where someone’s questioning your identity or has misgendered you for the n-th time. Your heart starts racing, and anxiety kicks in (as do other feelings for sure!). A few rounds of box breathing can help ground you, allowing you to come back to yourself. This puts you in touch with your most grounded Self so you can respond thoughtfully and assertively stand up for yourself. Or maybe you’re out in public, feeling overwhelmed. Practicing diaphragmatic breathing can help you shift your focus, relax your body, and regain control.

Building Emotional Resilience

The more you practice deep breathing, the more emotionally resilient you become. It’s not just about getting through the moment—it’s about training your body and mind to stay more present, more reflective, and less defensive. It’s a skill that helps you pause, get curious about what’s going on internally, and nurture yourself through whatever’s triggering that anxiety. Then, you’re better able to take that next right step.

Combining Deep Breathing with Other Anxiety Management Tools

Deep breathing works beautifully with other tools like mindfulness, grounding, and visualization. It’s one of the foundational skills we use to help manage anxiety, but the long-term strategy involves digging deeper into what’s triggering those anxious feelings and working through those emotions in therapy.

Conclusion

Deep breathing might seem like a small tool, but it can make a huge difference in managing anxiety—especially for LGBTQ+ individuals who face unique stressors. Incorporating these techniques into your daily routine can help you feel more grounded, calm, and in control when anxiety strikes.

If you’re ready to explore how deep breathing, along with other tools, can help you manage anxiety, I encourage you to reach out for LGBTQ Therapy in NYC. Therapy is a safe, affirming space where you can build resilience and gain practical tools for navigating anxiety in your daily life.

Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call to discuss how we can work together to build the resilience you need to thrive. Let's embark on a path toward greater self-respect, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of community together.

My specialties include LGBTQ+ Therapy NYC, EMDR Therapy NYC, Religious Trauma.